


Trapped

by straeon



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M, self harm discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 16:04:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3535580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straeon/pseuds/straeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert and Aaron get trapped in the portacabin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trapped

**Author's Note:**

> This was for drabble prompts, which I've mostly posted together previously, but this is longer so I'm posting separately. Prompt was "Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…" and "I’m with you, okay? Always."

Robert shoved the door of the portacabin for the 10th time.

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while,” Robert sighed, examining the door. “Unless you want to smash it open.”

“How am I gonna explain that?” Aaron asked in an annoyed tone from the desk he was leaning against with his arms crossed. 

“How will I explain being gone for the whole night?” Robert retorted.

“You always find some excuse, don’t ya?” Aaron scoffed.

“How are _we_ gonna explain it when Adam comes back and opens up with us both inside?” Robert demanded, stepping in front of Aaron.

Aaron shook his head and sighed at him. “I can’t believe the shit I get into because of you.”

“Right, it’s all my fault,” Robert said, as he paced the small area of the cabin while rubbing his jaw. 

“I should’ve stayed away from you, like I said,” Aaron sighed. 

“Do you want me to take my money out of this place?” Robert demanded. “Because as long as we’re both involved in this, we can’t always avoid each other, can we?” 

“I know,” Aaron said. After a pause, he continued; “But it’s not just that, is it?”

“What do you mean?” Robert furrowed his brow but it was getting harder to make that out as it was getting darker.

“I wouldn’t always stay away from you, even if there was nothing like this to bring us back together,” he answered quietly. “We’re always pulled back to each other.”

“Well, that’s obvious why, isn’t it?” Robert said flirtily, standing close to Aaron.

“Don’t,” Aaron shook his head. “I’m being serious.”

“Okay,” Robert took a step back and put his hands in his pockets. “I’m listening.”

“It’s - it’s like an addiction though, innit?” Aaron hesitated, trying to find the right words. “Like - like self harm.”

“I don’t hurt you,” Robert insisted.

“Not like that,” Aaron said, looking down. “But this … thing, it’s not healthy. It does hurt me in ways,” he said with an awkward shrug.

Robert was unsure what to say - he wanted to ask what he meant exactly but also wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“We had to see each other today but we didn’t have to end up like this, did we?” Aaron continued after a moment.

“I’ll say,” Robert sighed.

“If we actually - hadn’t been interrupted,” Aaron said, referencing how Adam had come to lock up the cabin while Robert and Aaron, in states of partial undress, had had to duck down to not be seen. “You know, I’d hate myself right now.”

“Why?” Robert asked, with a half laugh. “I’m the married one.”

“Yeah, but you don’t really care ‘bout that, do ya?” Aaron said, more harshly then he’d meant to but they both knew it was true. “Going back to this and hurting myself needs to stop.”

Robert nodded. “Kind of sucks you’re stuck with me then, don’t it?” He said with a forced laugh.

“Yeah,” Aaron sighed. “But I think I can resist you.”

“Hey, I’m not gagging for it,” Robert said, sitting on an another desk. 

“If you say so,” Aaron replied. 

“And I’m the one who’s full of myself?” Robert joked.

“You do expect me to come back every time though, don’t ya? Do your bidding? Tell no one? Risk going back to prison for covering up a… whatever.” He trailed off.

“An accident,” Robert stressed. “And I’ve given you space, haven’t I?”

“Yeah,” Aaron agreed. “But if you think you can just do what I say and stay clear for a fortnight to get me back onside and everything will be back to how you want it, by your rules, being your doormat… Then you’re way off the mark, mate.”

“Okay,” Robert said, standing back up and putting his hands up. “Okay. I get it.” 

Aaron shrugged. He was slightly doubtful Robert really understood. But then he wasn’t sure if he understood what he wanted himself. One moment he would’ve happily jumped Robert’s bones, the next he couldn’t bear to see his face and be reminded of all his stupid decisions over the last several months and all the pain it had caused. 

“It’s too cold anyway,” Aaron said, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Huh?”

“For _that_ ,” Aaron said pointedly.

“Don’t want me to warm you up?” Robert smiled.

“Fuck off, Robert,” Aaron said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m joking,” Robert said.

“I know,” Aaron said. “Me too. Actually, no I’m not. But neither are you really.” Aaron said.

“Well, I wouldn’t say no,” Robert said.

“Would you ever?” Aaron sighed, sitting down in his chair. 

“Yeah,” Robert insisted. “You know, Lawrence would have.”

“You didn’t sleep with your wife’s elderly dad?” Aaron said, scrunching up his face. “That’s the one person you can think of you didn’t get your leg over with?” 

“It was before Chrissie-”

“That doesn’t make it better.”

“Okay, yeah, it doesn’t,” Robert sighed. “There are others, I’m sure.”

Aaron scoffed then started shuffling his things around, to find something instead of getting into a discussion on Robert’s exploits.

“I don’t just do it with anyone because I’m - Because I’ve been with men too.” Robert said carefully.

Aaron shrugged. “I didn’t say that,” he said, finally finding the beanie hat he was looking for and putting it on.

“What?” Aaron said at Robert’s laughing.

“Nothing,” Robert said, shaking his head but still smiling.

“Don’t laugh at my hat,” Aaron said. “You won’t be when I’m the only one who survives the night.”

“As if you’d let that happen,” Robert said, stepping next to Aaron and playing with the bobble on the top of his head. 

“We’ll see,” Aaron said shortly. 

“The thing is…” Robert said finally, hesitantly. “You’re still not anyone.”

“Huh?” Aaron got what he meant but he wasn’t going to be wrapped around his finger.

“It’s not about the sex,” Robert said. “Even if it started like that - it was meant to just be sex. I… always liked you. I always wanted _you_.”

“Yeah, well,” Aaron said quietly. “Not being just a quick fuck isn’t the most flattering thing someone’s said to me.”

“I’m not trying to - I’m just trying to be honest with you,” Robert replied.

Aaron nodded at him with a more understanding look in his eyes.

Robert leaned against the desk in front of Aaron. “I care about you,” Robert said finally. “That’s why I came here today, not because of … scrap. I’m worried about ya and you told me to stay away - I needed some excuse to see you.”

“You could’ve just said you wanted to see me,” Aaron said. “Not everything has to be sneaking around and being dishonest.” 

“But you would’ve said no,” Robert said, to which Aaron shrugged. “I wanted to still give you space but… still see you… This is all because of me after all.”

“Thought it was an accident?” Aaron jumped on Robert finally admitting his own responsibility.

“Yeah, but,” Robert cleared his throat. “With everything with Katie and… how I treated you before the wedding.” 

Narrowing his eyes at Robert’s words, he didn’t know if he believed him and if there was any point pressing the issue. Did he even want to find out that it wasn’t entirely an accident? That he’d somehow facilitated that?

“I never wanted this to be… a way for you to hurt yourself,” Robert admitted. “As much as I … don’t _not_ enjoy being someone’s addiction. I don’t want to be a part of your addiction to self punishment.”

Not knowing what to say, Aaron just sighed and looked down. Slowly, Robert’s hands entered his eyeline, over his own hands that were becoming pink in the cold air. Unfortunately, he didn’t have matching gloves. He closed his eyes. Robert’s hands were warm and soft and he hated that he wanted his touch so much, so often. 

“Hey,” Robert whispered. “I’m with you, okay? Always. If you need … help to deal with this.” Carefully, Robert turned Aaron’s hand over, stroking his finger along the scarred skin on the palm of his hand. 

“Don’t,” Aaron pulled away immediately, rattling the whole table.

“Sorry,” Robert sighed. “I just feel like it’s me hurting you.”

“Not everything is about you,” Aaron spat at him.

“Okay! Fine, but I still want to help you if you need me to,” Robert said quietly.

“Yeah?” Aaron took on a sarcastic tone. “And if Chrissie needs you too? If Lawrence wants you to be his little lapdog? If Lachlan is assaulting some-”

“Hey,” Robert interrupted with a steely voice. “Your family’s not perfect either.”

Aaron scoffed - he’d take his over the Whites any day. But he didn’t continue pushing that button.

“Look, I’ll - I’ll be there if you want me,” Robert said. “I’ll find a way.”

Aaron shook his head and rubbed his forehead. It was what he wanted, some sign that Robert actually cared. About anything. But deep down, he was suppressing a feeling of rage that Robert could so selectively deal with the mess he’d made, that this still came second, or third of fourth, to his own perfect life that he was still trying to hold on to, even as it was falling to pieces.

“I mean it,” Robert said with a pained expression, placing his hand on the side of Aaron’s face. 

“You’re only here accidentally,” Aaron said quitely.

“No, I’m not,” Robert corrected him. “If I wanted to, if I really wanted to, I could break the door down,” Aaron scoffed at this, but Robert continued, “or break a window or call someone to let us out. I want to be here with you.” 

They did stay there for the rest of the night. It was quiet and didn’t fix anything. There were no proclamations of love or fucking over the desk. But they both felt less alone after, there was some new level of understanding between them.

Aaron still didn’t appreciate how he needed to distract Adam the next morning.

“What the- did you stay here the whole night?” Adam exclaimed.

“What do ya think? You locked me in didn’t you, you plank.” Aaron said, playfully punching him.

“Why didn’t you say something?!” 

“Fell asleep,” Aaron shrugged. “I reckon we’ve been working too hard - and I need a pint after that. C’mon,” Aaron led him away from the cabin, allowing for Robert to sneak out and return to making equally rubbish excuses to Chrissie.


End file.
